The little things
Today I've been feeling many things and one struggle I keep coming back to is feeling like an outsider. For those of us with chronic illnesses sometimes the best times in our lives can bring out our deepest feelings of despair, as we realise how little we can do. I often feel like I'm looking through a foggy pane of glass at the rest of the world, when I'm with my friends, my family, I realise how much I've missed and how much I continue to. The most insignificant parts of other people's lives are the things I wish I could do, the small things mean the most. But in the end I do notice the little things, the days when I can use my body and the days when my brain feels less foggy and I can breathe for a moment. The little things become the big ones and every accomplishment feels like winning a gold medal. I hug harder and I laugh more, it also means I cry a lot more too and I'm learning that that's ok. I'm here, I'm fighting and I'm alive and if that's all I've done today, I'm doing alright.