Hello Everyone :)
I cannot believe I've been so hazy over the past few weeks that I completely forgot #ME awareness day! The brain fog and stress is real for me right now! I will let you know that I may disappear over the next month or so as my GCSE's are starting on Thursday, they are going to take it out of me that's for sure!
Although I missed May 12th I still wanted to put something out there to raise more awareness around ME, I hope someone may find it helpful.
Although ME is just one of the conditions affecting my life right now, it's one that affects me in a massive way, a way that most people do not realize.
ME/Chronic Fatigue syndrome is not just "feeling tired" it is an ongoing list of debilitating symptoms that range from person to person, some so severe that patients are unable to communicate and live in the outside world.
You cannot fight it, you cannot push through it. It's one of the most difficult monsters to fight as essentially the only way to beat it is to feel as if your "giving in." It leaves you defeated and disappointed.
I was diagnosed with ME sometime after contracting Glandular Fever, it is common for suffers to begin feeling symptoms after a viral infection however I didn’t discover all of this until a few months later. Again so many doctors are quick to dismiss it and I will add it to my list of things people don’t understand and therefore are reluctant to help with.
What people forget is the prison it creates, surrounding you. Ripping you from your life, hobbies and relationships. It seems to be very difficult for others to grasp its severity despite how much I try to explain it. Many people seem to be under the impression that “pushing through” is the right answer, which for a lot of people worsens their symptoms even more. This adds to my struggle with feeling guilty about not trying hard enough and wrong advice in the past has left me much worse than I could have been, having had the correct advice from doctors in the beginning. Although I have found ways of continuing my hobbies in unique ways better suited to me right now, one thing I have never truly been able to return to is drama. Performing on stage and collectively being able to create something wonderful within a group of people, is something I miss incredibly. This is mirrored within other sufferers, losing the life they once lived and loved.
It's easy to look at my debilitating seizures as the main difficulty in my life right now, however my ME contributes massively to my attacks and is one of the main forces driving them. It's a vicious cycle, one that can only be broken by patience, strength and the oh so wonderful act of "pacing."
I don't like to focus on all the negatives of an illness, it's something me and my family make a conscious effort not to do, as my life is a very good one. But it's importance to show others the reality, to let people know what we have to fight and how they can help fight with us.
There are #MillionsMissing from the world right now, ignored and forgotten, don’t let it stay that way. Along with many other sufferers posting a photo of my empty shoes signifies the many people missing from the world due to this illness.